I love music

I do. I love music. I love singing. However, I'm a horrible singer. But that doesn't stop me.

Looking back, I can identify different seasons of my life by song. You know what I'm talking about... you hear a new song and it speaks to you. And you grab ahold of it and it becomes "your song."

Well, here's my song for this chapter in my life.

Sometimes I,
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone’s alright
When I know they’re not.
This world needs God
But it’s easier to stand and watch.
I could pray a prayer and just move on
Like nothing’s wrong.

But I refuse.

Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care.
I don’t want to say another empty prayer.
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself.
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse.

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately,
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of you, oh God.
So, if you say move,
Then it’s time for me to follow through,
And do what I was made to do.
Show them who you are.

To stand and watch
The weary and lost
Cry out for help.
I refuse
To turn my back
And try and act like all is well.
I refuse
To stay unchanged,
To wait another day,
To die to myself.
I refuse
To make one more excuse.

Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care.
I don’t want to say another empty prayer.
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself.
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse.

Hopefully they left his brain...

We just returned from one of the worst doctor's appointments ever. I'm still sweating.

First of all I had all 3 boys with me.

3 hats to take off, 3 coats to take off ~ 3 hats to put on, 3 coats to put on

We were at the ENT for Park's post-op appointment to check his ears. Well he failed his hearing test miserably. After looking in his ears they decide that the tubes are in place properly but aren't functioning because of all the muscus/drainage/crud in his ears. They tell me that they'll have to clean his ears. Sounds harmless, right?

I had to sit holding him in my lap, his back on my chest, hugging his arms so he can't move them. Then I had to pin his legs between mine so he couldn't kick. The nurse held his head. Then the doctor stuck some kind of tube thing in his ear and then inside of that he shoved some vacuum thing into my child's brain, I mean, ear. And then he turned it on. He kept telling me that it wasn't hurting Park but it was just loud. I believe him because once it was over Park was fine. But OH MY THE SCREAMING! So Park got both ears vacuumed out as well as a ton of drops in each one. Hopefully this will help his tubes to start functioning.

We have to continue the drops and go back in for another checkup on Tuesday.

If they need cleaned out again I've already called, "Not it."

Your turn Colby.

First Birthday Celebration

I'll let the pictures tell the story...
* but please keep in mind this is my third child. :)

Time to party

I found this Mickey Mouse backdrop thing in Park's closet the morning of his birthday. A couple of strategically placed balloons over the word "Mickey" and viola!!!!

* Happy Birthday Park *

Vacuum cleaner toy from his brothers

Despised the birthday hat that my mom brought him

Seriously.

Yes, there are only 3 presents in this picture.

That's 2 more than we got him!

Thanks to Papa & Nana and the Butlers for the other 2.

But look how happy he is :)

And he's also "SO BIG!"

Cake time

Look at that face. I know he's thinking, "Am I seriously allowed to touch this?!"

Still not sure about the hat.

But definitely sure about the cake.

Trying to clean his fingers.

Cleaning up in the sink.

The only pic I got of my parents!!!

Park also had his 1 yr checkup today...

Weight - 23lb 1oz

Height - 30 inches

Wade & Jake were both 30 inches and 23 lbs at their first birthday too. They must be brothers!!

He's one!!

Park, you're one!! Can you believe it?!?! Happy Birthday sweet baby!

You've learned to do a lot of new things this month...

• you say uh-oh ALL the time
• you've started eating different foods ~ yogurt, jelly sandwiches, and even a Valentine's cookie
• the stairs are your absolute favorite place to play ~ you can even take a toy up the stairs with you
• you're drinking whole milk now
• you're starting to point to mommy's eyes and nose when I ask you to
• you've discovered some new books and like to read them all the time

I'm sorry you're so sick on your birthday. It's been a pretty rough month for you. You got your third ear infection of the year this month - right before you were scheduled to get tubes in your ears! The surgery was last Wednesday and then on Sunday you got sick again. This time it's RSV which you caught from daycare. Coughing, difficulty breathing, fever, red/goopy eyes - you've got it all... Today is day #5 so hopefully you will start to feel better soon. Nana & Papa are coming to help us celebrate this weekend so I'm praying that you'll be all smiles by then.

Pictures to come after the party!!

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day Parker Dean ~ To my sweet, precious baby boy. You are getting so big so quickly. If I could freeze time, little man, I would. I love your chubby legs, big belly, and chapped cheeks. I love when you repeatedly drop things and say "uh-oh" in your adorable baby voice. I cherish putting you to bed every night - reading The Fuzzy Bee to you, singing Carolina Moon, and praying with you all while smelling your wonderful, right out of the bath, baby skin. My prayer for you is that you meet God early in your little life and stay close to Him always. You will always be my baby and I will love you forever!

Happy Valentine's Day Jake David ~ To my crazy, outgoing, funny man. You have turned into a little boy right before my eyes. This is your first year in preschool and you love it! You are learning so much and I love how for the first couple months of school you always spelled your name by saying, "J for Jake - A - K - E." This has been your first year as a big brother. You've come a long way from the week when we brought your little brother, Park, home from the hospital and you wanted to put him in the trash. Now you love covering him in kisses and splashing him in the bathtub. You are the light of my life and I pray that God molds you into a man that seeks Him first everyday of your life. I will love you forever!

Happy Valentine's Day Wade Colby ~ To my smart, responsible firstborn. If I wouldn't get thrown in jail then I would probably let you babysit your brothers while your Dad and I went out on a date! I trust you that much!! You are such a great big brother - you know just how hard to wrestle with Jake, you patiently try to teach him to play your video games, and you watch over baby Park so closely for me. You are a great helper. And you are so smart! You are really enjoying Pre-K and I am amazed at how quickly you learn things. This is your first year playing basketball and you've got a great shot. But I'm most impressed at how quickly you learn your bible verses. I pray that you continue to hide God's word in your heart and learn to walk with Him daily. I will love you forever!

Happy Valentine's Day John Colby ~ To my #2. I am crazy in love with you. And I always have been. (And I love how lovey pictures always make you nervous.) You are a strong man, wise father, and understanding husband. The adoration your boys show you is a sign of the amazing job you do each day of being a wonderful father to them. They will have no trouble growing up and identifying God as their loving, heavenly Father because of the outstanding job you are doing as their earthly father. I love how at this point in our story we are on the same, exact page as to some changes we'd like to make in our lives. It's just further proof that we were expressly created just for each other! I pray that you continue to have the strength and wisdom needed to lead me, your sons, and our church. As Christ as our #1 there's no way we can go wrong. I look up to you Colby. And I will love you forever!

And in the words of one of my favorite authors...

I'd like to thank the Lord Almighty who has, for now, blessed me with these.

We're home

The surgery went really well!! They took him away from me at 8:07 and the doctor was back in the family consult room by 8:21. We were told that he had a lot of really thick fluid behind both eardrums that would have never gotten better on it's own. And that his hearing should improve immediately. Stick your fingers in your ears and talk. That's what the world has been like for little Park. We thank the Lord that we were able to help you feel better little man!

So far he's been eating and napping like usual with no ill effects from the anesthesia. And he's already back to his smiley self chasing his brothers around. Just another day in the Atkins house.

Waiting room

Reading The Fuzzy Bee... his favorite

Now back in the prep room

Being silly

Wade & Jake waiting - the nurses hooked them up with a movie

It's all over!

Snuggling with Daddy

The monitor on his toe was a big hit

Ear Infections

Tomorrow is the day.

Bilateral Myringotomy.

In other words.. Park is getting tubes in his ears. We are SO ready for this!! Park has struggled with repeat infections for the last 6 months. He's actually had 3 since since the beginning of the year. We can always tell when his ears are starting to bother him because he will refuse his pacifier at nap/bedtime. Then it's off to the doctor. Again. I feel like lately I've been at our doctor's office more than I've been at work.

We know what to expect because we've been through this surgery before with Jake. But I'd still like to ask you to please pray with us for Park!

We have to be there at 7. Surgery is at 8. He should be out of recovery by 9.

I'll update the blog after that.

Sick Days

My poor little dudes are sick.

But I could have predicted this the moment that Colby planned his annual snowboarding trip to Colorado!! It seems that whenever he's gone the troops get sick. But I'm so glad that he is able to get away, relax, refresh and have a manly vacation with his bro-in-law Brooks. His text this morning said it was -34 degrees there. They are going to FREEZE!

Gotta get back to the couch... the boys are saving me a seat.